Why Divorce or Separation Counselling is Important?
Divorces and separations are often traumatic life events. While the problem can appear to be the divorce or separation, there may be deeper issues that created the problems.
Couples also need skills that help them when they aren't on the same page. The skills include the ability to control their reactions when things don’t go their way. The ability to stop anger from leading to words or actions that make things worse is a critical marriage skill.
Fighting fair and using problem-solving skills when there are disagreements can save a marriage. Problem-solving begins with being confident enough in yourself that someone else has a different opinion doesn't make you defensive. This ability gives you a heightened ability to understand their perspective even when you disagree with their position.
Counselling can also help couples recognize and eliminate problematic behaviours like trying to control the other person's choices or actions, hostility, and intimidation or physical violence. If one member of the couple feels dependent upon the other person for their happiness or safety, it creates a dysfunctional power dynamic that can be rectified in counselling.
How Counselling Helps?
When it feels like your relationship is falling apart, the way forward can be challenging to see. Counselling helps you explore potential solutions to the discord so that you move forward together. If reconciliation isn’t possible, counselling helps you know that you did everything you could before ending your relationship.
Counselling can help you uncover positives that you wouldn’t recognize for years without the assistance of a trained therapist.
What Happens During Therapy for Divorce or Separation Counseling?
Counselling can have multiple goals. One can be to attempt reconciliation. The overriding goal is to help you and your partner move forward in the way that is best for both of you.
1. The first step is a consultation to gather information and identify where the issues are so those that are most in need of attention can be identified. This meeting may include one-on-one sessions with each person if both people are coming to counselling.
2. The second step is establishing the therapeutic goals and setting the boundaries to make the sessions a safe place for open and honest communication. Couples often think the counsellor will take sides, be a referee, or see one person as being right and the other as wrong, but that's not how therapy works.
3. Creating a plan for moving forward, including deciding whether counselling will be one-on-one, couples counselling, or some of both. This will include sharing information about how the brain works, how it processes information, and how our mood affects our thoughts and responses. The goal is to create an atmosphere of curiosity about why things have been misperceived or misunderstood. And find new, relationship-enhancing ways to see things from more than one perspective.
4. The couple will be given exercises to do separately and together to help them improve their relationship skills. This will include homework assignments.
5. As therapy progresses, the couple will be more aware of their own, and one another's triggers and the underlying reasons for those triggers. This gives them the power to create a more harmonious and loving relationship.
7. When counselling ends, each person will have a clearer view of the road ahead and skills that will help them navigate whatever the future holds.
Book a consultation with a counsellor at Positive Circles today to receive the support you deserve.